Everybody became timid from a sudden? Come on, loves, you don’t have anything to fear yet.
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Death Cab For Cutie |
| The Ice Is Getting Thinner | |
| Narrow Stairs |
Death Cab For Cutie | The Ice Is Getting Thinner
Although Stefan spoke at a normal volume, the words echoed into his mind, over and over again. He felt filthy even by looking at his fingers, his dirty little hands. Everything about himself suddenly disgusted him terribly - he was lucky that he was a brilliant liar to say at least. Deceiving was his biggest talent, after all it sort of represented him. With time, maybe, he would be able to erase the event from his mind, but now he felt very guilty. Maybe his problem wasn’t that he was misunderstood, but everything he touched collapses. Shameful thoughts buzzed into his mind, unable to hold them back and he could barely resist hearing them. “With you gone, there’s nothing much to do around here.” he lied nonchalantly, like the disgusting being he was. Right now, if he would’ve had the chance to change something, he would take it all back - he would’ve never brought Thomas home and certainly wouldn’t give him a reason to feel this way. He felt as emotional as a woman and it angered him that it was this way. Back when he was younger, he stopped murdering right when he felt like it was getting tiring. Now, even a night spent with a man would make him wallow in shame. Stupid carnal wants, he kept repeating to himself in his head, trying to seem as natural as possible - turns out that it was much more difficult than he believed. All of this emotional roller coaster provoked by his hybrid nature was exhausting. He was no longer frigid inside, instead he was filled with all sorts of sentiments that were certainly not meant for him. Not feeling was the main thing he was looking forward to in his vampire life. ” I can’t resist a glass of quality whiskey and another and so on.”” His intentions may be honorable, but frankly he should rather learn something from you from time to time.” He spoke, keeping his eyes glued to the bottles of the exposed alcoholic drinks. His expression denoted that he was slightly disappointed with the choices. Still, he had to choose one and ordered a Glenlivet and as he waited, he was surprised by the speed his lover gulped the cooper-colored liquid. He felt sympathy - he must be constantly hungry and irritated. He wished that he could relieve this pressure Stefan was on, but it was him that could accomplish that. He received his glass after quite a while and he gave the bartender the glare of a predator. His mood wasn’t exactly ideal for a night out, but he could cope with the anger, especially if he had Stefan to worry about. Two of his fingers wrapped around the thick base of the glass and he brought it to his lips. Unlike his lover, he had no problem in controlling his cravings, so he did not rush to drink it, instead he took his time and enjoyed the high content of alcohol. His throat got used to the slight burns of the liquid, in fact, it sent chills down his spine and he adored the bizarre sentiments. “If I’m going to get drunk again, it’s your fault, love. ” he smirked.Damon really was just trying to help him out, he wanted his brother to be able to be normal again, or at least as normal as a vampire could be. But Damon had his own way of doing things that weren’t really the best for Stefan right now. He set the empty glass down onto the bar and did not order another one right away. Even with the high tolerance that he has built against alcohol over the years, he knew that if he kept drinking at this rate he would end up stumbling out of the grill like a drunken frat boy. As amusing as he was sure that would be for Klaus, Stefan decided against it. “Again? Party hard last night?” He questioned jokingly. While he had been on his blood drinking binge in the woods, he hadn’t really thought about what Klaus was doing. While they both were easily the jealous type, Stefan trusted the other man to keep to himself while he was away. Forever would be a long time if he kept having to second guess himself with Nik.
” His intentions may be honorable, but frankly he should rather learn something from you from time to time.” He spoke, keeping his eyes glued to the bottles of the exposed alcoholic drinks. His expression denoted that he was slightly disappointed with the choices. Still, he had to choose one and ordered a Glenlivet and as he waited, he was surprised by the speed his lover gulped the cooper-colored liquid. He felt sympathy - he must be constantly hungry and irritated. He wished that he could relieve this pressure Stefan was on, but it was him that could accomplish that. He received his glass after quite a while and he gave the bartender the glare of a predator. His mood wasn’t exactly ideal for a night out, but he could cope with the anger, especially if he had Stefan to worry about. Two of his fingers wrapped around the thick base of the glass and he brought it to his lips. Unlike his lover, he had no problem in controlling his cravings, so he did not rush to drink it, instead he took his time and enjoyed the high content of alcohol. His throat got used to the slight burns of the liquid, in fact, it sent chills down his spine and he adored the bizarre sentiments. “If I’m going to get drunk again, it’s your fault, love. ” he smirked.The hybrid noticed his change - the blood was a very sensitive subject for his lover and he was well aware of that. He personally never went through the guilt phase, but there were times in which he just didn’t know how to stop once he’d started feeding. Stefan was pure and still so human, although he’s been a vampire for over a century - he willed to do just about anything to help him be at peace with himself, even if it would take his everything. He saw how his statue-like features darkened significantly as he confessed to him and he felt a pang of compassion hit him violently. He still cared so much and he was seeking a balance that was hard to be found, but it was worth fighting for. His hand grabbed Stefan’s shoulder firmly and turned his face so that he looked him in the eye. “Listen to me - you will be capable of being in control. Don’t expect it to come from a sudden. You will have to work hard for it and I will try to teach you. You’ve got a lifetime to practice.” now his voice got quiet enough to be heard only by the young vampire. ” I’ll stand beside to pull you back when you’re close to slipping into that vicious cycle of yours again.” Maybe it was the age,like he said before, to blame, but he certainly softened up. His hunger for violence and fury seemed satiated, maybe for a long time, maybe not, but he wanted to be there for Stefan. He wanted it to be real with him, the only person in his life that hasn’t let him down and rejected him instantly. He accepted him, even with his numerous flaws.Stefan has yet been able to find that happy medium. He has two sides to him, one that only feeds on animals and is a genuinely good person, but weak, and the ripper who can’t help but to feed on and destroy many humans. Working on being the right mix of both was starting to wear down on him. All he wanted to was be able to drink human blood without having the desire to rip out the jugular of every human that walked by. Being in public wasn’t a problem for him, right now he could fight the urge since everyone was around, but the second he’s alone is when he can’t fight it. He sighed and nodded, knowing that he still needed to work at it. He picked up the glass in front of him and downed the rest of the alcohol that was in it before signaling the bartender for another. “Damon has been trying..to help, but I don’t think he really gets it. He doesn’t understand how hard this is,” he told the other man. The bartender returned with another glass of bourbon and he drank it quickly, just like the last glass. Alcohol was the best way to fight the cravings.
The hybrid noticed his change - the blood was a very sensitive subject for his lover and he was well aware of that. He personally never went through the guilt phase, but there were times in which he just didn’t know how to stop once he’d started feeding. Stefan was pure and still so human, although he’s been a vampire for over a century - he willed to do just about anything to help him be at peace with himself, even if it would take his everything. He saw how his statue-like features darkened significantly as he confessed to him and he felt a pang of compassion hit him violently. He still cared so much and he was seeking a balance that was hard to be found, but it was worth fighting for. His hand grabbed Stefan’s shoulder firmly and turned his face so that he looked him in the eye. “Listen to me - you will be capable of being in control. Don’t expect it to come from a sudden. You will have to work hard for it and I will try to teach you. You’ve got a lifetime to practice.” now his voice got quiet enough to be heard only by the young vampire. ” I’ll stand beside to pull you back when you’re close to slipping into that vicious cycle of yours again.” Maybe it was the age,like he said before, to blame, but he certainly softened up. His hunger for violence and fury seemed satiated, maybe for a long time, maybe not, but he wanted to be there for Stefan. He wanted it to be real with him, the only person in his life that hasn’t let him down and rejected him instantly. He accepted him, even with his numerous flaws.The precedent night’s shameful events just kept playing all over again as he looked into the glistering green eyes. Thankfully he had over a thousand years of practice of deceiving and kept his insecurity unnoticed. He was rather in a bad mood, but somehow Stefan’s youth, because he could say that the vampire is still so very young, managed to get his spirits up, at least in the slightest. “I’ve been really bored these days, though I believe it comes with the age.” he chuckled softly, then took a sip of the decadent tasting liquid. He held in a deep sigh - it felt strange to be cared for, since all his life he’s been the second choice at best. “You look like something is terribly wrong. What have you done? Did you have another binge festival?” His words rolled hazily on his tongue, his blue eyes looking slightly worn out.Stefan chuckled at Klaus’ comment. Even though he is still considered to be very young for a vampire, especially compared to Nik and his siblings, Stefan still knew what it was like to get so easily bored. When you live forever you have the chance to do whatever you want, and yet you always seem to end up back where you started doing all the same things. The younger vampire remained silent for a moment, trying exactly to figure out how he was going to go about this. It almost amazed him how well Nik knew him, he knew him almost as well as Damon does, maybe even better. The guilt of his binges and ripper days always got to him, and while Klaus would never be the one to judge him for that, it still bothered him. Human blood still was a struggle for him, but he was definitely better than he had been before. It was rare that occurences like this happened, but every once and a while he loses control. “Yeah. It wasn’t so good. Campers, over by the falls. I just lost it..” he trailed off and his eyes looked away from the other mans. No matter what, Stefan would always feel guilty and shameful for his actions. Feeding on humans was one thing, but slaughtering a small group was something in it’s own.
The precedent night’s shameful events just kept playing all over again as he looked into the glistering green eyes. Thankfully he had over a thousand years of practice of deceiving and kept his insecurity unnoticed. He was rather in a bad mood, but somehow Stefan’s youth, because he could say that the vampire is still so very young, managed to get his spirits up, at least in the slightest. “I’ve been really bored these days, though I believe it comes with the age.” he chuckled softly, then took a sip of the decadent tasting liquid. He held in a deep sigh - it felt strange to be cared for, since all his life he’s been the second choice at best. “You look like something is terribly wrong. What have you done? Did you have another binge festival?” His words rolled hazily on his tongue, his blue eyes looking slightly worn out.With confident steps, he walked into the rather crowded local and searched for the bold features of Stefan. Although he had to look through a sea of people, he sort of stood out, in his uniqueness. He found his lover sitting at the bar and headed straight to him, making enough noise so that he wouldn’t be surprised by his arrival. They made eye contact and he flashed a hint of a smile, then turned his head towards the bartender, a girl not much older looking than Stefan. “I’ll have what he’s having.”, he spoke, the words rolling hazily on his tongue. He received his cooper-colored drink and his slim fingers wrapped around the thick glass, bringing it to his almost ruby red lips. It was the second night in a row he was drinking, but he planned not to make excesses, not tonight. It was surprising for him to want to hold back from something, but the alcohol had a pretty bad influence over his behavior in the precedent night. He didn’t want to discuss anything actually - he simply was glad to see him alive, well, sort of, and well.Stefan heard someone approaching, and automatically he knew it was Klaus by the sound of his footsteps in the noisy bar. He greeted him with a smile and gestured to the bar stool next to him. Just like any other night at the grill, it was very crowded. The townies were all trying to wind down after a long day of work or school. Stefan himself hadn’t done much today, but he was more than willing to hang out around the grill if it mean the could see Nik. “How are you? It’s been a small while,” he asked. He had gotten caught up with some things for a couple of days and didn’t eve realize that he’d been MIA for a bit. He forgot that people would actually notice if he stopped showing his face around town for a bit.
He was about to say something when he heard his heart beat slightly slow down - that stubborn man has finally fallen asleep. The pencil he was drawing with was put quietly on the wooden desk and with silent steps, he walked into the room to find the man sitting vulnerably on the sofa, making faint sounds as he breathed. It was clear to him that getting older now changed lots of things in him, including the sickening pleasure of blackmailing and backstabbing, which transposed into something different, something not as dark as it used to be. He no longer felt as violent as he did at the beginning of his eternal life - back then, he was seeking other people’s pain for amusement and it happened multiple times for those deaths to be meaningless. By the time he hit one thousand years old, everything become fad and the blood became a bland thing to him. He let Thomas sleep, giving him one last look, and he exited the mansion. His wounds were now covered in everlasting, pale skin - he knew it wouldn’t damage him much because of his superior age, it was intended to stop his impulses. His seemingly cruel blue eyes were half closed. He had absolutely no idea just why he did not kill his companion for the night - it would assure him that no words about tonight would slip from his mouth, but he just didn’t feel like doing it. Perhaps it was one of his most uninspired choices, but he had no reason why. He wasn’t bored enough to murder for amusement, nor annoyed by his behavior. Time passed and he watched the sky with melancholy and unease.
With confident steps, he walked into the rather crowded local and searched for the bold features of Stefan. Although he had to look through a sea of people, he sort of stood out, in his uniqueness. He found his lover sitting at the bar and headed straight to him, making enough noise so that he wouldn’t be surprised by his arrival. They made eye contact and he flashed a hint of a smile, then turned his head towards the bartender, a girl not much older looking than Stefan. “I’ll have what he’s having.”, he spoke, the words rolling hazily on his tongue. He received his cooper-colored drink and his slim fingers wrapped around the thick glass, bringing it to his almost ruby red lips. It was the second night in a row he was drinking, but he planned not to make excesses, not tonight. It was surprising for him to want to hold back from something, but the alcohol had a pretty bad influence over his behavior in the precedent night. He didn’t want to discuss anything actually - he simply was glad to see him alive, well, sort of, and well.Stefan’s relationship with Klaus was rather unique compared to what he’s previously had with Elena and even Nik’s sister Rebekah. Though, any relationship with a man would be very different than one with a woman. Nik and Stefan weren’t lovey dovey, there never is any hand holding or spooning against each other at night. They were just Nik and Stefan, as simple as that. It didn’t surprise him when Klaus was concerned about his whereabouts. In this town people went missing and were kidnapped quite often, so it was normal for everyone to be on edge. Stefan had just been spending some extra time to himself for a few days and didn’t think much of it. But now everything was back to normal and he was heading over to The Grill to meet up with his lover for some drinks. Mystic Falls didn’t have many other restaurants or bars, so it was pretty common to end a night back at The Grill. When he arrived, Klaus was no where to be seen, so he headed straight towards the bar and ordered himself a bourbon while he waited for the other man.
“You’ve caught me in one of my worst days - most people I’ve met didn’t have such a good impression on me. The ones that lived, anyway.” He chuckled darkly, then turned his head to face Thomas. “What you’ve seen me done is the aftermath of letting the feelings get to you. Love is a vampire’s greatest weakness.” His fingers fidgeted nervously, but discreetly enough to not get noticed. He let his head fall back and he smirked with his eyes closed. ” Ask me another idiotic question like the last one and you’ll end up like those who didn’t get to live to hate me. If you insist in staying, at least lay down, you look like a ghost.” He checked his wounds and he was almost completely healed, though he felt too dizzy to be back in shape. He got up and went to his “artistic corner”, where he kept the drawings and paintings he’s done over the numerous years he’s lived, forgetting about his guest for a moment. He took out a paper and started drawing hollow shapes - thick brows, square jaw and intense look. It was him again, it seemed like he was following him everywhere, even in his calm place.“Occasionally.” He replied, sarcastically, groaning slightly as he got off the wooden floor that was now stained with significant amounts of blood. “The suit’s just fine - it actually fits you better now.” He said as he walked to the couch and sat in the exact same place as before. This time, though, he felt too weakened to get angry and get hurt again. He closed his eyes and tried to put all his attention on the way the warmth of the fire moved on his ice cold skin. It was one sad way to end the night, but it wasn’t something unfamiliar to him to feel like this. His weary eyes opened to face the man that seemed to look worried - for him. But he couldn’t be. Nobody was ever worried for him. Not even his family, he was never actually cared for. That is mainly the reason he decided to turn into the antagonist, while everybody else was chasing to get to be the better man. One of the things he loathed about getting drunk was getting emotional, human or vampire, it didn’t matter. He just wanted it to be real, with Stefan. But he couldn’t tell if those kisses they’ve shared and things they’ve said to each other were simply an act to see him crash and fall. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time. “I’m fine now. Go home, have some wine or something to make you sleep better. You’ve already done more than enough and that is why I just want to say…Thank you.” He flashed a smile in his direction, then moved his tired eyes to a window and stared blankly, waiting for the sound of the door closing.“Do you want to get rid of me that badly?”
The sound of the door closing did never come. Instead Thomas stayed and just watched the hybrid with an intent look. “Even with your stupid and insane behavior you are kind of acceptable for a vampire. You’re welcome then”. The blood was everywhere and he couldn’t help but clean up most of the blood so he could watch Klaus for this evening and made sure he wouldn’t fall into another self destroying. Eventuall
y he became tired and his body just refused to do anything more so he just sat down beside Klaus. For a while no one said anything until Thomas chose to break their silent: “Why are you loosing control like that? It’s not the first time that I’ve seen someone like you within a rage but your was… kind of different. Almost like a breakdown.”
He actually didn’t except an answer but he was curious now and asking wouldn’t do any harm to him after all. Klaus was to tired for that and at least for this night Thomas was protected through the blood within his veins. Through the blood of a hybrid.
